she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
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the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
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The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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