we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize
