Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Randomize
