the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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