Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
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