we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
This show inspires me to have sex in space
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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