My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
