i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Randomize