Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
