Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
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