In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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