Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
