Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
my liver is dry heaving
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
