Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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