The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Two words: blizzard sex
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
