sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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