You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
