Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
