I cockslap morals
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
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