Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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