you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
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