5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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