What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
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My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
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They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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