She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
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I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
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At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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