My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
