My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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