I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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