I'm pants shitting drunk right now
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
As shirtless as possible
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
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