You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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