We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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