Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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