: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
