my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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