I wish my penis had an off switch
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize