Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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