two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
