everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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