Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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