matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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