If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
