I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
