Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written