So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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