If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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