You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
