his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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