Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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