Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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