summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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