She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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