Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
