Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Randomize
