If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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