it wasn't lemon gatorade
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
