Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
My hand turned me down
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
