I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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