Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
You smell like stripper and shame
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
