But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
