you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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