So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
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Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
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She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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