I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
false alarm, still single
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